I found Dr. Eden’s journal hidden under some clothes in the spare dresser. Simply the thought of her screaming for me makes me sick to my stomach; I think this is what guilt feels like. I could have come out of stealth at any point, but I didn’t. I just sat there with my head in my hands praying to Gods that don’t consider me their child to save her, to give me courage to get up and fight the Eyelans. All I could do in that moment was weigh the millions of options and calculate survival percentages. None of the outcomes left me alive. I was outnumbered and out powered, I had seen their strength.
It was surprising to me that I felt the need to run up to the surface and go to our lake. We had spent a day there swimming and laughing. It wasn’t but a few days ago, and now Noomi was somewhere in the universe. What had I done? Sitting there besides the water I realized I would sacrifice everything I am to go back and save Noomi. She didn’t deserve what fate had handed her.
I sat by the water for some time, thinking everything over. I could fix the time machine and make use of that, but then again I didn’t have Noomi’s help for that. I could wait around hoping for the Eyelans to come back… Or I could make them come to me.
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